Tag Archive | women’s issues

Keeping the Pieces Together

 

You are so busy. You struggle to keep all the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle of your life together- home, church, family, kids afterschool activities, work, and the list goes on.

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You must plan ahead and determine what pieces of the puzzle (a.k.a your life) will get a ‘yes’ response from you and which will get a ‘no’ response.

Before the holiday season becomes hectic for you, take a look at your situation. Where will you focus your energy? What will be your priorities? Plan now so you can enjoy the holidays instead of dreading them.

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Place your priorities in this puzzle and determine to keep yourself pieced together. Just like putting together a manufactured jigsaw puzzle, there are boundaries. Set your boundaries and build the beautiful picture that is you within them.

Living within Healthy Boundaries

I did it again.  She called with a last minute cancellation asking me to please take over the project. Through gritted teeth with a forced smile I said it would be no problem.

Afterward I slammed a few cabinet doors, spoke some words I wouldn’t want my daughter to hear, and then started to readjust my plans for the day to complete the project and submit it on time to our client.

Everyone has emergencies come up, I get it. But this person seemed to always have one excuse or another. Everything was an emergency. The stories are such that I don’t even listen to them any more. I simple say ‘sure, I will take care of it’. Then I lash out.

Why can’t I confront her? Why should my family take the brunt of this?

This is just one of many scenarios I live with. Can you relate? What would your story be?

Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend address this and similar issues in their book “Boundaries”.

I will be using this text and correlating video lessons in an 8 week online course.

Some of the questions to be addressed include:

How can I say no and not feel guilty?

Are boundaries biblical?

What if setting boundaries will upset or hurt someone?

For more information, go to the Boundaries page (CLICK HERE) and sign up to join us.  This online course is for women only and class size will be limited to allow everyone a chance to participate.

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NEED INPUT

Do you remember the movie “Short Circuit”?  It is a very cute movie made in the mid 1980s about an experimental robot that becomes intelligent.  Upon escaping into the world it seeks out INPUT. It wants to learn.

The phrase “input, more input” became a fun mantra as my children were growing up; signaling more information was needed.

One of my daughters loves to gather input before making a decision. She is not like her mother, who, on many occasions, has been known to make quick decisions without all the details and regretted the results. Grown now, with a family of her own, she started as a young teen asking for me to ‘listen’ to her thought process.  “Mom, I don’t want you to tell me what to do; I don’t want you to fix it. I want you to listen, to hear how I came to this resolution, and help me to see if there is something I have not considered that may affect the outcome.”

Wow, where did she get to be so smart?!?!?

This is one way to describe how I work as a life coach. You have to make your own decisions. You have to live with the consequences of any action you take or don’t take.

But you don’t have to go it alone. As your life coach I will listen to you. I will ask deep questions for you to consider. I will repeat back what I hear you say. Did I hear correctly? Do you want to explore that more? 

As the client, you have control of the direction. You have the right to say,”No, I don’t want to go there” or “Let’s go another direction” or “Yes, I do”. 

Some people can work with a life coach for just a few sessions pursuing deeper understanding of a change that is on the horizon. Some of those changes could include: empty nest coming up, planning for a job change, balancing work and home, stretching your comfort zone, and so much more.

Are you seeking ‘INPUT’ as you explore your next step? I’d love to discuss this with you further.

Time For Change

Spring time is beginning to show itself here in the Midwest. The grass is starting to green and grow, my husband is already looking at the lawn mower to wake it from it’s winter slumber.  Perennial plants are showing tips of green as they yawn and burst through the ground. Rain comes often.

Spring is a sign of change; a change in seasons.  Change is all around us.  I am a creature of habit and find myself a bit reluctant to change.

When a change is suggested in routine my first thought is “Why?  Are we changing just for the sake of change or will the change be beneficial?”  I like routine.

So when I desire a change in myself, I stand back and challenge it.

Taking training to become a Professional Life Coach through PCCI I learned a lot about how to approach change, face it, and move forward.

The most effective learning tool was the use of a coach. During the training I experienced personal coaching. I found that having someone listen deeply to what I was saying, asking me questions helping me to delve deeper into what I truly desired. I faced my fears, my concerns, found hidden desires, and made a commitment to myself.

I realized I was responsible for my own decisions. If I do things because it will please others, I am not fully committed. If I do something because someone told me I ‘should’ then they have made the decision for me. I do not accept ownership. With the coaching conversation I examined my ultimate goal.  It looked so huge, could I truly achieve it? Working together, I created S.M.A.R.T G.O.A.L.S.

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Like opening the box of a huge jigsaw puzzle we opened the package together and looked at the final picture. Through questions and looking within myself the big picture was broken down into attainable working sections. First, gather the pieces to make the outer border. Now sort the pieces into smaller working areas, focusing on one area, then another while keeping the big picture in mind.  With a coach reminding me of my ultimate goal I was reminded of what was important and even found a few things that I thought were important really that were not. By breaking down the ‘big picture’ I could more clearly see the “whole picture”.

Are you ready to move forward but feel stuck? Would a life coach help? 

· Do you want to grow and change?

· Have  you made efforts to change within the past year?

· Are you capable of thinking about the future?

· Are you open to learning?

· Are you committed to making changes?

· Are you willing to learn from others?

· Are you willing to take risks?

· Are you willing to restructure your life if necessary?

If you answered YES to the questions above, I would like to speak with you.  Check out more by exploring other pages on this website then submit a request to schedule a no obligation meeting via the MOVE FORWARD page. 

Let’s break down that big picture into attainable steps, empowering you to bring all the pieces together in a manner that will help you achieve your goals.

Precious In His Sight

I recently ran across an audio series by Theresa Ingram, wife of Pastor Chip Ingram of Living on the Edge.  I downloaded the MP3 and PDF files and thoroughly enjoyed the “Precious In His Sight” series and teachings of Theresa.  I related so well to her words.

The first part is titled “Mirror, Mirror On the Wall” and looks at  what God says is true about my appearance; I am Beautiful in Jesus’ Eyes.  I was created in God’s image. I am beautiful because He designed me, knows me intimately, and loves me. Though man looks at the outward appearance, God looks at the heart.

Part 2 is titled “From Cinderella to a Princess”, noting we are righteous in Jesus’ eyes. There is a difference in our lives before and after Christ.

In part 3 you are “Born to be a Winner”. Theresa discusses how to experience in you what is true of you. What untruths do you tell yourself? What is true of you? I loved her question “what is tatooed on your mind?’   Your self-talk could be your biggest weapon satan will use against you.

Finally, in part 4, appropriately titled “Wings” you are reminded how uniquely gifted and enabled by God to make a significant impact with your life. Yes, are can make an impact. She discusses the 4 road blocks we set up that hinder God from using us.

I was very touched by this series. I heard myself in her stories.

Once I finished I learned that there is an audiobook titled “Precious in His Sight” which is unabridged. The MP3 files are available through Amazon and the Living on the Edge website.

I highly recommend this to every woman who has even the slightest bit of self-doubt.  Yes, God can use you and wants to use you. He can and wants to use me.

This website, my desire to become a life coach and to begin public speak, along with my Knit and Crochet Bibles Studies, and my teddy bears are just the tip of the story He is unfolding in my life.

What story is He unfolding in your life?

What Color Do You See

The purposes of the heart are life deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.  Prov 20:5

Several years ago while sitting on my back deck, a friend looked out into my yard and commented on the beautiful yellow roses I had.  I looked out and saw no yellow roses. The fence was lined with red roses, but no yellow one.  Thinking she had just made a slip in wording I left the comment alone.  A bit later the yellow roses came up again in our conversation. Confused, I asked her to join me in a walk around the yard.

When we came to the roses I asked her ‘what color are these roses’. “Yellow” she responded. I was looking at red roses. I looked closely at her and noticed her sunglasses.  “Take off your sunglasses for a moment please”.  She did so and responded ‘those are red!’. 

Her sunglasses had an amber tint, a strong amber tint, and everything she saw was through the amber lens. Once removed, she could clearly see the true color of the roses.

As a life coach, I help women take off the amber lens to see more clearly what they are facing.

I don’t know of any woman who does not multi-task.  She has to! If you are at work you are thinking of the laundry not yet done at home, what will you be making for dinner, errands you will have to run on your lunch break as well as the project in front of you that needs to be completed for your boss. When  you are at home you are doing laundry, making dinner, getting the kids ready for bath and bed, all the while nagged by what you did not get completed at work.

Even at church, you have a To Do list in front of you and as the pastor is speaking you are adding to your list of things you need to but will probably never get done.

With all this going on in your head the lens of your mind may be discoloring your thoughts. As a life coach I listen to you as you walk through these patches of your life and I help you take off the colored lens to see more clearly what is in front of you. I will reflect back what you speak aloud, and sometimes what you are trying not to speak aloud. I will ask you questions allowing you to look deeper or at a different angle than you had before. Unlike a caring friend, I won’t tell you what you ‘should’ do. You are an intelligent woman. You don’t need to be told what to do. You don’t need a list ‘shoulds’ added to your cluttered thoughts. I can, however, help you remove the colored lens and see things in a different light. Together we can draw out your deep desires which may have become buried beneath the mountain of obligations you find yourself in. We can walk through the roses of your world and find their true color.

What color lens are you wearing? Are you ready to see clearly?

Click on the Move Forward tab to contact me with no obligation.  I look forward to seeing the roses with you.