Tag Archive | say no

Living within Healthy Boundaries

I did it again.  She called with a last minute cancellation asking me to please take over the project. Through gritted teeth with a forced smile I said it would be no problem.

Afterward I slammed a few cabinet doors, spoke some words I wouldn’t want my daughter to hear, and then started to readjust my plans for the day to complete the project and submit it on time to our client.

Everyone has emergencies come up, I get it. But this person seemed to always have one excuse or another. Everything was an emergency. The stories are such that I don’t even listen to them any more. I simple say ‘sure, I will take care of it’. Then I lash out.

Why can’t I confront her? Why should my family take the brunt of this?

This is just one of many scenarios I live with. Can you relate? What would your story be?

Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend address this and similar issues in their book “Boundaries”.

I will be using this text and correlating video lessons in an 8 week online course.

Some of the questions to be addressed include:

How can I say no and not feel guilty?

Are boundaries biblical?

What if setting boundaries will upset or hurt someone?

For more information, go to the Boundaries page (CLICK HERE) and sign up to join us.  This online course is for women only and class size will be limited to allow everyone a chance to participate.

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New Year’s Resolution or Disillusion

Did you make a New Year’s Resolution last year? How did it go?

If you like the majority of people you set it aside within the 1st 6 weeks of the year. Maybe you went a little longer. Perhaps you of the small percentage that stuck to it. If so, congratulations!

Not completing your resolution as hoped does not make you a failure. It makes you human.

So what about that change you wanted to make in your life? Is it too late, too far fetched, too unreachable?

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How important is it for you make that change?  Do you really want it? How hard are willing to work for it?

So often the change desired is B*I*G, so big it looms into a mountain before us – immovable. A few steps motorhome_traveling_mountains_md_clrare taken toward it, but it is just to large to climb.

Here are some steps to climbing that mountain.

  • Don’t climb alone. Find someone you trust and respect to climb with you. Someone who will hold you accountable.  (Ecc 4:12) (Prov 15:22)
  • Make the mountain a molehill.  Look at the overall goal as a large jigsaw puzzle. Break it down into workable pieces. Work a portion a time, bringing the full picture into focus. (Zec 4:10)
  • Plan ahead. Mountain climbers don’t wake up one day saying ‘today I will climb a mountain’. They prepare, build up muscle, collect and pack supplies.  What do you need to do to prepare? (Prov 21:5)  (Prov 31:15)
  • Set your mind on the goal. Make visual reminders and signs of encouragement around you to help keep the ultimate goal in mind. (Phil 3:13-14) (Ps 37:4) (Luke 14:28)
  • Learn to say NO. Saying ‘yes’ to one thing means saying ‘no’ to another. Learn to say ‘no’ to things that will take you away from your goal. (Gal 6:5) (Tit 2:12)
  • Forgive yourself. Stepping away doesn’t mean defeat. It means you stepped away. You can choose at this point to accept as defeat your faltered step or you can get up and start again.  You are already several steps in. Pick up where you left off and continue to move forward. Consider it a pit stop on the journey. (1John 1:9) (Acts 3:19) (Rom 5:1)

classic_convertible_road_md_whtNow, what are your plans for the New Year? You are about to begin a journey. Look out the windshield, not the rear view mirror, and move forward. Accept every accomplishment and hold to it. Take pit stops when needed, then continue on. Your destination awaits you.