Tag Archive | life coach

Get A Life…Coach

(I recently presented this as a speech at my local Toastmasters Club)

I have heard it said, “If you don’t have a vision, you can never be focused in a direction.”

I wonder then, how do you set a goal, and once set what propels you to consistently move in that direction?

Perhaps, like me, you try searching the internet. This is fine, except for those times I don’t really know what I need to search for.

I ask friends and family. However, their answers are given from their own life perspective and experiences which may not quite align with mine.

To move forward I found I needed to look within myself.

How do I do that? In walks my introduction to a ‘life coach’.

You may have heard the term ‘life coach’ – you may even know someone who is a life coach. As with any other profession, there are various styles. Let me introduce you to Life Coaching as I use it in my own practice.

The International Coach Federation defines coaching as partnering with clients in a manner that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential; in other word – working ‘from the inside out’ rather than ‘from the outside in’.

My daughter, unknowingly, demonstrated to me a life coaching technique when she was a teenager.

She would come to me and say, “mom, I don’t want you to tell me what to do, I don’t want you to fix it, I want you to listen, to hear what I have thought through, and let me know if you see anything I may have missed or need to consider”

As a life coach, that is what I do. I listen. And I ask questions. I help you see what you are looking at from a different angle.

Last year over the Christmas holidays I opened a jigsaw puzzle and set it out. There were 5 of us working on this puzzle at the same time and this is what I learned: we had the picture in front of us and were in agreement of what the end goal was – to make these pieces look like that picture; however, each of us had our own method of reaching that goal. We all started out the same – find the outer edge pieces and make the border. But then, we each went our own way of working through the process. Jon took a piece and worked methodically along pieces already in place and tested to see if it fit, then moved on to another piece. Angela looked for pieces that fit together, even if just 2 or 3 pieces, and worked to create a lot of partial fittings. My granddaughter and I looked at what everyone else did and mottled through trying to expand from their work. A few times, we switched chairs. With the new perspective the pieces to the puzzle suddenly fit in places we had not noticed before. Everyone had their own method to reach the same goal.

As your life coach, I help you find your method to reach your goal. I provide you with the tools you need make the decisions you require to get the job done. I walk with you on your journey toward your goal. I will remind you of your goal, your values, your priorities along the way when life’s detours and road hazards call your focus away from your destination. And, as your life coach I celebrate with you your successes.

Are you ready for a Life Coach? Ask yourself these questions:

• Do I want to grow and change?

• Have I made efforts to change within the past year?

• Am I capable of thinking about the future?

• Am I open to learning?

• Am I committed to making changes?

• Am I willing to learn from others?

• Am I willing to take risks?

• Am I willing to restructure my life if necessary?

If you answered YES to any these questions, you might want to consider connecting with Life Coach to help you as move forward. If this is something you are interested in learning about, I have some references for you from organizations I am associated with that may be of help.

Working ‘from the inside out’ what jigsaw puzzles are developing your life? What steps are you taking you need to clarify? Are there detours on your path you have not considered? Maybe it’s time to ask a life coach to help fill your toolbox.

You have the vision, and now you have tools to keep you focused on the direction, it’s time to begin the journey.

Voices in My Head

I suffer from a problem I am sure none of you ever face. I experience bouts of low self-esteem and lack of confidence.

I know, I know, this is unfamiliar to you, but if you will allow me to share my story with you, perhaps you will have a clearer understanding.

Inside my head are a bunch of ping pong balls that bounce around triggering thoughts and ideas – sometimes they run in supercharge mode and hit all the negative nerves inside my brain …and occasionally hit on ones I didn’t know existed. These negative thoughts turn the volume up until nothing else can be heard except the slow and steady drumming. Think of that car that passes by your house with bass turned so high the windows rattle. Yeah, that’s my mind-field.

Several months ago my small group did a video study by Pastor Steve Furtick. I had never heard of this guy, but the title looked interesting – Crash The Chatterbox.

In this study he described the thoughts we have and voices we listen to as a factory, and we must maintain quality control. That was interesting in itself, but what really got my attention were the sessions where he ‘interviewed the chatterbox’. He personalized the chatterbox by having someone portray this chatterbox. He demeaned the interviewer, reminded him of his failures, and hinted at others displeasure of him. It appealed to me because, by placing a face and personality to this negative trait, it changed the way I looked at ‘the ping pong balls’.

Taking my cue from the chatterbox interview I created my own ‘chatterbox’. I used one of my teddy bears.

Are you a Star Trek fan? Do you know what happens when a crew member in a red shirt joins the away team? Yeah, that person won’t be back. The term “red shirt” is defined on Wikipedia as a stock character in fiction who dies soon after being introduced.

So, I got out one of my Star Trek bears, dressed appropriately in a red shirt, and named him “chatterbox”. When the negativity strikes I tell my red shirt chatterbox to shut up.

Occasionally, before dying, a red shirt will say something that may be referred to throughout the show. Thus, my red shirt doesn’t always stay quiet. So, I created a NO CHATTERBOX ALLOWED sign. I put the bear in the box and ban it from mind. Hey, whatever works!

Still, the chatterbox tries to call out to me. I need another defense!

This one comes in the form of a Tiara. Every woman should have a tiara.

It started in fun. I commented one day needing a tiara to remind me I am a daughter of the King and my wonderful husband, on his next trip to run errands, picked up a tiara for me.

I put the tiara on to remind myself of my worth. I am royalty! My Heavenly Father is the King!

In a quick check of google I found some tips on how royalty is to be treated. Here are a few tips I learned and modified to tell my chatterbox it was unwelcome.

• Do not initiate conversation with royalty – Chatterbox, you may not start with me

• During a formal dinner, stop eating when the queen does – Chatterbox, stop chewing on my life, my past failures, perceived indiscretions, and inaccuracies.

• A non-royal must never touch a person of royalty – chatterbox, keep your distance; and stay out of my head!!

• Most importantly, take the lead from the royal person – Chatterbox, please leave me alone.

Speech_8_photo-9x6Yes, this is silly. But when I get a glimpse of myself with my tiara as I pass a mirror or see my reflection in a window or even in the monitor of my computer, I get a little smile. I stand a little taller. I walk with a surer step. I have the strength to block the chatterbox out.

Is it silly if it works? Yes, it is probably still silly. But there are is so much negativity around us it seeps into lives and can take over. We must find ways to see beyond it, to change the focus and the self talk.

For me, it’s a teddy bear in a box with a not welcome sign on it and a tiara on my head. How do you destroy the chatterbox in your life?

Draw Me A Picture With Your Words

I love to use word pictures to try to describe what is happening in my mind’s eye.  I can see something but it is fuzzy, and unclear. By speaking out the picture to someone it becomes clearer. Focus becomes sharper. I can see it and now I can choose how to act on it.

One thing I really enjoy about the coaching process is using questions to help bring that picture into focus. With my own life coach I often describe a bunch of ping pong balls bouncing around, each with a different thought or idea. When it strikes my mind goes there, but before I can focus on that thought or idea, another ball bounces and another thought starts to form. This continues until I am filled with disjointed and ideas that paralyze me from moving forward.

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My coach has learned how to use this scenario to bring clarity and focus by addressing the ping pong balls.

To some, this word picture may be ridiculous. My coach might even think that. But that doesn’t matter. It is my mind, my focus. As a coach she walks alongside me using the metaphor I describe and helps me to examine it, to look closely, and understand within myself what I am seeking.

Another word picture I have seen many use in coaching calls is that of a road. To some the road and clear and they are speeding along it; others find various road blocks and unexpected turns.

road

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As a life coach I enter your word picture and walk with you.

What word pictures would you use to describe a goal you desire to reach?

What will it take to move you forward from where you are

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to where you and God desire you to be?

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I’d love to discuss this with you. Click the “move forward” tab to start the conversation. If possible, I would love to enter the journey with you.

What Color Do You See? A story of perspective

Several years ago a friend was visiting my home. We sat out on the back deck drinking iced tea and catching up on our lives.

During a lull in the conversation my friend commented on the pretty yellow roses along the fence line. I yellow_rose_sm_clrlooked out there. Yes, there were pretty roses I had worked hard to plant along the fence line, but they weren’t yellow. Thinking she probably just misspoke, I didn’t say anything. Conversation continued.

A bit later she mentioned the yellow roses again. “You want to see them up close?” I asked. We stepped off the deck and walked along the fence, looking at the various flowers. When we stopped at the roses I asked her what color they were, she again said yellow. At that point, I was really confused. We were looking at the same rose, from the same distance, and she was seeing a yellow rose where a red rose resided.

As I looked at her face I noticed her sunglasses. “Would you take off your sunglasses for a moment please” I red_rose_sm_clrasked. She did and quickly explained, “The rose is red!”

She was wearing a pair of sunglasses with a thick amber tint, altering the color viewed all around her. Once she removed the tinted lens, she could see clearly the red rose.amber_glasses

Working with a life coach can benefit by helping to change the lens you look through. A life coach will listen intently, ask powerful questions from your disclosure, and help you look at circumstances from another angle, with a different lens. This allows you to determine for yourself how you wish to proceed with a clear image and refocused path.

Is it time to ‘take off your tinted glasses’’

NEED INPUT

Do you remember the movie “Short Circuit”?  It is a very cute movie made in the mid 1980s about an experimental robot that becomes intelligent.  Upon escaping into the world it seeks out INPUT. It wants to learn.

The phrase “input, more input” became a fun mantra as my children were growing up; signaling more information was needed.

One of my daughters loves to gather input before making a decision. She is not like her mother, who, on many occasions, has been known to make quick decisions without all the details and regretted the results. Grown now, with a family of her own, she started as a young teen asking for me to ‘listen’ to her thought process.  “Mom, I don’t want you to tell me what to do; I don’t want you to fix it. I want you to listen, to hear how I came to this resolution, and help me to see if there is something I have not considered that may affect the outcome.”

Wow, where did she get to be so smart?!?!?

This is one way to describe how I work as a life coach. You have to make your own decisions. You have to live with the consequences of any action you take or don’t take.

But you don’t have to go it alone. As your life coach I will listen to you. I will ask deep questions for you to consider. I will repeat back what I hear you say. Did I hear correctly? Do you want to explore that more? 

As the client, you have control of the direction. You have the right to say,”No, I don’t want to go there” or “Let’s go another direction” or “Yes, I do”. 

Some people can work with a life coach for just a few sessions pursuing deeper understanding of a change that is on the horizon. Some of those changes could include: empty nest coming up, planning for a job change, balancing work and home, stretching your comfort zone, and so much more.

Are you seeking ‘INPUT’ as you explore your next step? I’d love to discuss this with you further.

Time For Change

Spring time is beginning to show itself here in the Midwest. The grass is starting to green and grow, my husband is already looking at the lawn mower to wake it from it’s winter slumber.  Perennial plants are showing tips of green as they yawn and burst through the ground. Rain comes often.

Spring is a sign of change; a change in seasons.  Change is all around us.  I am a creature of habit and find myself a bit reluctant to change.

When a change is suggested in routine my first thought is “Why?  Are we changing just for the sake of change or will the change be beneficial?”  I like routine.

So when I desire a change in myself, I stand back and challenge it.

Taking training to become a Professional Life Coach through PCCI I learned a lot about how to approach change, face it, and move forward.

The most effective learning tool was the use of a coach. During the training I experienced personal coaching. I found that having someone listen deeply to what I was saying, asking me questions helping me to delve deeper into what I truly desired. I faced my fears, my concerns, found hidden desires, and made a commitment to myself.

I realized I was responsible for my own decisions. If I do things because it will please others, I am not fully committed. If I do something because someone told me I ‘should’ then they have made the decision for me. I do not accept ownership. With the coaching conversation I examined my ultimate goal.  It looked so huge, could I truly achieve it? Working together, I created S.M.A.R.T G.O.A.L.S.

SmartGoals

Like opening the box of a huge jigsaw puzzle we opened the package together and looked at the final picture. Through questions and looking within myself the big picture was broken down into attainable working sections. First, gather the pieces to make the outer border. Now sort the pieces into smaller working areas, focusing on one area, then another while keeping the big picture in mind.  With a coach reminding me of my ultimate goal I was reminded of what was important and even found a few things that I thought were important really that were not. By breaking down the ‘big picture’ I could more clearly see the “whole picture”.

Are you ready to move forward but feel stuck? Would a life coach help? 

· Do you want to grow and change?

· Have  you made efforts to change within the past year?

· Are you capable of thinking about the future?

· Are you open to learning?

· Are you committed to making changes?

· Are you willing to learn from others?

· Are you willing to take risks?

· Are you willing to restructure your life if necessary?

If you answered YES to the questions above, I would like to speak with you.  Check out more by exploring other pages on this website then submit a request to schedule a no obligation meeting via the MOVE FORWARD page. 

Let’s break down that big picture into attainable steps, empowering you to bring all the pieces together in a manner that will help you achieve your goals.

What Color Do You See

The purposes of the heart are life deep waters, but one who has insight draws them out.  Prov 20:5

Several years ago while sitting on my back deck, a friend looked out into my yard and commented on the beautiful yellow roses I had.  I looked out and saw no yellow roses. The fence was lined with red roses, but no yellow one.  Thinking she had just made a slip in wording I left the comment alone.  A bit later the yellow roses came up again in our conversation. Confused, I asked her to join me in a walk around the yard.

When we came to the roses I asked her ‘what color are these roses’. “Yellow” she responded. I was looking at red roses. I looked closely at her and noticed her sunglasses.  “Take off your sunglasses for a moment please”.  She did so and responded ‘those are red!’. 

Her sunglasses had an amber tint, a strong amber tint, and everything she saw was through the amber lens. Once removed, she could clearly see the true color of the roses.

As a life coach, I help women take off the amber lens to see more clearly what they are facing.

I don’t know of any woman who does not multi-task.  She has to! If you are at work you are thinking of the laundry not yet done at home, what will you be making for dinner, errands you will have to run on your lunch break as well as the project in front of you that needs to be completed for your boss. When  you are at home you are doing laundry, making dinner, getting the kids ready for bath and bed, all the while nagged by what you did not get completed at work.

Even at church, you have a To Do list in front of you and as the pastor is speaking you are adding to your list of things you need to but will probably never get done.

With all this going on in your head the lens of your mind may be discoloring your thoughts. As a life coach I listen to you as you walk through these patches of your life and I help you take off the colored lens to see more clearly what is in front of you. I will reflect back what you speak aloud, and sometimes what you are trying not to speak aloud. I will ask you questions allowing you to look deeper or at a different angle than you had before. Unlike a caring friend, I won’t tell you what you ‘should’ do. You are an intelligent woman. You don’t need to be told what to do. You don’t need a list ‘shoulds’ added to your cluttered thoughts. I can, however, help you remove the colored lens and see things in a different light. Together we can draw out your deep desires which may have become buried beneath the mountain of obligations you find yourself in. We can walk through the roses of your world and find their true color.

What color lens are you wearing? Are you ready to see clearly?

Click on the Move Forward tab to contact me with no obligation.  I look forward to seeing the roses with you.