Category Archives: Moving Forward

If The Tiara Fits

 

Today is one of those “I need my tiara” days.  What is an “I need a tiara” kind of day?
It’s one of those days when I’m overwhelmed by the multitude of things I have to do. I feel I’m being attacked from so many different sides, I cannot focus. I cannot think straight. Eventually I start thinking “I can’t do this” and then negative voices start speaking in my head (not real verbal voices, just those overwhelmingly negative feelings) The sounds of the negative voices gets louder and louder until it becomes all consuming and that’s all I can hear.
Not long ago my small group from church did a video study called “Crash the Chatterbox”.  In this video the author, Steven Furtick, describes different ways that he personalized those negative voices allowing him to face them down. Taking my cue from this, I chose a couple of ways to silence my own negative voices.  The one I’d like to share with you today is – a tiara.
You see, the negative voices make me feel that I am very unworthy; however when I wear the tiara I’m reminded I am someone special.
Did you watch the latest royal wedding?  I have some friends who recorded every moment of all the activities surrounding that event and they enjoy watching it over and over. The world appeared to be totally fascinated with this woman becoming royalty. Just by this act, she was suddenly someone very special.
I want to remind myself I am worthy of that as well.  I did a Google search and one of the interesting things I found about royalty is that when you dine with the Queen, once the Queen stops eating – everyone stops eating. It doesn’t matter if you still have two more bites of that delicious chocolate pie left, you don’t get to finish it. By laying down her fork, the Queen has declared the meal ended.  Using his analogy, I applied it to those negative thoughts and voices. I put on my tiara and declare “Negative voices, you will no longer dine on my doubts; you are no longer welcome to feast on my failures; you will not be permitted to snack on my lack of self-confidence. NO to you negative voices. I am royalty and I am taking charge. This meal is over!”
I know it sounds silly, and watching a woman nearly 60 years old with her little plastic tiara (by the way, It’s 5 or 6 dollars at the local party store) might even bring a smile to your face. I know it does to mine. Whenever I see the tiara or my reflection in a mirror, I smile. And that smile, that little laugh can actually turn down the volume of those negative voices until I can’t hear them anymore. As the negative voices go away the volume of the positive ones grow louder and louder.
When I am having a day where there is so much coming against me I cannot see the positive, I put on my cute little five dollar plastic tiara and totally turn my day around. Thinking in a positive way can allow positive things to happen.
What is something that you can do to bring a smile to your face and turn down the volume on the negative voices in your head.  I’d love to hear some of your thoughts.
Today, I am Princess TerryAnn

Stripping

This was created by Teresa Robertson. I am sharing it here with her permission.

Stripping  (used with the author’s permission)

I’ve been stripping.

Yes, stripping.

And sanding. (What did you THINK I meant?) I had five layers of paint to remove!

First, I tried a heat gun. It’s like a hair dryer on steroids. I heated the gun, held it the appropriate distance from the surface of the door, waved it back and forth, and when the paint bubbled up, I commenced scraping.

Inch.
By.
Inch.

Bubble by bubble.

Two hours work resulted in about a 18 x 6 inch strip of wood being revealed.

(My thoughts moved to a parallel universe at this point. Just wait, Reader.)

I decided to use chemical stripping. Generally, chemical stripper eats the paint. One or two break the bonds between paint and wood. I chose a low odor citrus stripper and applied a coat. I gave it the 30 minutes as directed and began scraping. Only the top layer of paint came off. Rats. This stuff is $20 a half-gallon. Another thicker coat, most rest of the bottle, and about six hours mostly did the trick. Lots of scraping followed. 

Today I decided to sand the door with my orbital sander. It’s a messy process, so I connected the sander to my shop vac with duct tape, donned my respirator mask, and commenced sanding. Suddenly, my small sander got away from me, skidding across the door leaving marks. It was as if the door was fighting the coarse sand paper and the sander had a mind of its own.

Oooh, I revisited the parallel universe. A metaphor was being birthed.

Spinning, the sander followed the grain of the wood nicely then SLIP- flop, flop, flop until I brought it back under control. On inspection, I found gouges. Wood filler to the rescue. I flipped the door over and repeated the process.

Now, come with me to my parallel universe. We won’t be long.

Stripping is like recovery.

First, the heat is turned up. We get ourselves into messes that don’t clean up easily or work well (like the heat gun). It’s hot. It’s stressful. We realize the situation and decide to work harder; we try self help or self-medicating. This may work a bit. Inch. By. Inch. After all, Rosie the Riveter attitudes have worked in the past. But when our will power drains, we are back to square one. But, maybe I didn’t read the RIGHT self-help book. Let me see who is on the best- seller list. Let me try THIS other therapist. Let me try THIS other method. Let me just deny a problem even exists, hang the door back up and forget about it. After all, it wasn’t SO bad…

Life is out of control, Spinning like the wheel on my sander, dust flying everywhere. You think, Jesus was a carpenter. And pray to be repaired.

Then you sense the stripping really beginning. Layer by layer. Peeling away life hurts from the bone. Jesus never promised you wouldn’t feel pain, in fact He promised that just like Him, you’d suffer. But He would always be there, beside you…

Gouge. Chip. Crack. Splinter. Cost. Loss.

When I have control of the sander, a firm grip, I do okay. Relatively frequently it slips, spinning across the door. Slip… flop…flop…flop…another ding to repair. Another gouge to fill. Another mess to clean up.

How many times do I have to do this before I learn?

When Jesus is invited to the workshop, to take hold of the sander, He’s smooth. He’s skilled. No gouges. He peels layer by layer of hurt away. Layers Of colors that are painful to remember, hard to look at, awkward to recall. Gently He fills the gouges you made. Soothes the wounded raw wood of your life and gently smooths the surface.

Sanding hurts. Stripping hurts. It’s also a relief. He’s got this.

Chemical stripping hurts. Bonds must be broken; amends made. Confessions confessed. He’s got this.

He was a carpenter. He has the skills. The experience. The power to help us restore. Restore. Renew. Rebuild. (Isaiah) Rosie the Riveter is merely a poster child for failure. I can buy a new door. I can’t buy a new life.

– by Teresa Robertson

Lather Rinse Repeat

I glanced at my shampoo bottle while washing my hair this morning.  The directions read “lather, rinse, repeat”.  As I thought on this my literal mind said, ‘there is no escape clause’.  How many times do I lather, rinse, repeat?

Thinking on the escape clause I was reminded of posts and stories from friends who participated in local Escape Rooms.  I don’t know if you have these around you, but here they are everywhere.

As I understand it, you and your friends are locked in a room and must work together to find a way out. A way to escape.

Lather, rinse, repeat gets us into a rut. Apply that scenario to a rut you are in. You continue to do the same thing over and over again. You are going nowhere. The doors are all locked. You have to get unstuck.

From the Escape Room description, I find 2 points that are important in getting out of a rut.

  1. Take your friends with you. Don’t go it alone.  It is easy when you get overwhelmed or frustrated to withdraw. That may add to the weight of the load you are carrying. Talk to someone. Call a friend. They can often present to you a perspective you had not considered. Which leads me to point #2.
  2. Find the clues. With multiple sets of eyes on the situation, there are many small clues that may be found. Clear your mind and expand your horizon.

To break the cycle of the rut you have to make a change. It may require a small change, perhaps looking in a different direction. It may require a big change. Even so, that big change will probably require a number of small changes. Break it down. Take one step at a time and move away from the rut.

It’s time to lather, rinse, and put the bottle down.

As a life coach, I help you break down that big change into smaller, manageable steps.

Make Your Dreams Come True

I dared you to D*R*E*A*M and asked you to join on the journey.

Today we conclude our discussion of the word DREAM with the letter M – MAKE IT SO.

As a Star Trek fan, I am intrigued at the crew discussions. The Captain asks for suggestions, all give their input, a plan is made. Captain Picard responds, ‘make it so’.

You have sought input, created a plan. It is time to ‘make it so’.

As a life coach I can walk along the path of this dream with you, reminding you of your dream.

ASK

As we continue looking at the word DREAM we come to the letter A. A is for ASK.

ASK for help.  Sure, they may say no, and they have that right.  Just as you do.  You have the right to say no as well.

Sometimes by asking we may find the other person doesn’t even want what we feel is so important to do for them.

ASK questions. ASK for clarification. ASK for help.

You are not created to do everything alone.  It really isn’t all up to you. God never intended you to ‘do it all’.

E for EXPECT

Your focus determines your destination.

What are you focusing on?

In episode 3 of “Tea Time with TerryAnn” we look at the letter E in the word DREAM.

Expect. Expect to Succeed.  If your focus determines your destination and you constantly focus on the negative, that is the direction you will go.  Even with the focus on success, you will have setbacks. But that setback doesn’t have to change the destination.

Even if you go 2 steps forward and 1 step back, you are still one step ahead.  It’s all in how you look at it.

What successes are you expecting?

R for REJECT

In my first attempt at sitting in front of the video camera, I DARED you to take a moment to dream.

Moving on to the letter R in DREAM  I ask you to REJECT.  Reject those negative voices in your head. Reject the negative influence around you.  If there were no obstacles in the way of your dream, what would you do?

Following my own dream, and stretching my comfort zones, I am rejecting the need for perfection. I am sitting in front of the camera and once verifying the sound and picture are there, I am rejecting the desire to edit, to make perfect, to postpone posting it until everything is just right.

What do you need to reject?  How will step past the rejection and move forward?

 

Have You Stopped Dreaming?

Dreaming. As a child I dressed as a princess and dreamed of life in a castle. My Barbie (in the days before she had all these beautiful clothes, cars, and professions) could be anything I wanted. My mom’s large cooking pot was Barbie’s swimming pool. In my dreams I traveled the world.

Then life happened, I grew up, and one by one the dreams started fading away. I got so tied up in the ‘shoulds’ of life, I forgot the ‘dreams’.

Recently I bought a tiara o remind myself I am a princess. I am a child of the King of Kings! I am turning down the volume of the voices in my head telling me I am nothing.

What is holding you back from chasing your dreams? For many, it is self-doubt. Let’s step out together, face down that self-doubt and seek those possibilities we have buried.

Stretching my comfort zones, I created my first online video. I am calling it “Teatime with TerryAnn”. I am hoping it will be the 1st of many.

Let’s explore the word DREAM over the next few weeks. For the letter DI dare you. I dare you to dare yourself. Forget all the responsibilities, troubles, and obligations for 1 minute. Set the timer – 1 minute. In this 1 minute write out your dream. Let your mind wander, where will you go in this dream?

That 1 minute may feel like an eternity the first time I did it. I tried it again the next day, it was still hard. After several days, I was able to ignore the beep of the timer.

How about you? Will you join me?

DREAM. The letter D, I dare you.

What Are You Procrastinating

My husband walked into my office finding me on the floor, rearranging power cables. He looked around the room which showed the desk area obviously being re-organized and asked “What are you procrastinating?”

When I am busy with multiple major things, suddenly a minor thing creeps up and slaps me the face, calling out for my immediate attention.

What was I procrastinating? The list was long with so much to do, I wasn’t sure what to do first, so I didn’t do any of it.  Am I alone in this?

My ‘To-Do List’ can be a source of strength, keeping me going; or a source of anxiety, halting all productivity. And the thread that separates the two if often so thin it can snap at a phone call, an email, or a sudden perceived transgression.

Once I paralyze I need help to move forward. My husband’s question “what are you procrastinating” immediately unlocked something inside me that made me face the choice I had made – to ignore what I needed to do and focus, instead, on something that was mindless.

This is what a life coach does – ask the question that helps you stop and look at what you are doing from a different angle.

Yes, the power cords were bugging me and needed to be cleaned up; but not when I had several items with deadlines that needed to be addressed. I needed the nudge to correct my focus. Once I saw what I was doing I plugged the computer back in and got busy.

What are you procrastinating? How will you move forward?

My WORD of Year – 2018

Several years ago I read Debbie Macomber’s book “One Perfect Word”  and, following her example, started to declared a ‘word of the year’ for myself. I failed to do so in 2016, and felt incomplete. 

Last year the word was ‘committed’. I committed to stepping out, to moving forward, to following the path God laid before me, to believe I am not walking along.

I accepted that I may fail, but that I may also succeed. Not moving at all was definitely failing. (reminds me of a quote from Yoda – Do or Do Not. There is not try)

So I attached 2017 with a vengeance – committed to action.

I have accomplished so much, yet there is still much to do. I choose to focus on the road I have traveled, celebrating my progress. A reminder to myself, some of my accomplishments include:

  • editing the Proverbs 31 Woman group bible study into personal study in paperback and kindle
  • completing my first ‘Competent Communicator’ in Toastmasters
  • preparing the final details needed to complete my Professional Life Coach Certification thru PCCI
  • improved the regularity of my social media posting – still a work in progress
  • started to take control of the ‘’clutter’’ in my closets and in my mind

And the list continues. There is so much internally that I have faced as well.

Today is the first day of 2018. I see the road ahead. There are road blocks, detours, and various speed zones which will affect the travel, yet I will move past all of these.

My word for this year is ‘unstoppable’. I have proven to myself that I can move forward if I choose. I look back at the strides made over the past years. Now, with last year’s commitment, I grab God’s hand and say “I am ready Lord, where are we going today”.

In the Messge version of Isaiah 41:13 God replies:

That’s right. Because I, your God, have a firm grip on you and I’m not letting go. I’m telling you, ‘Don’t panic. I’m right here to help you.’

 

Unstoppable

 

What is stopping you from moving forward in 2018?

What is your WORD OF THE YEAR? How will it propel you to move forward? Consider using a life coach to help you take action and reach the higher level you desire.