Category Archives: Moving Forward

ASK

As we continue looking at the word DREAM we come to the letter A. A is for ASK.

ASK for help.  Sure, they may say no, and they have that right.  Just as you do.  You have the right to say no as well.

Sometimes by asking we may find the other person doesn’t even want what we feel is so important to do for them.

ASK questions. ASK for clarification. ASK for help.

You are not created to do everything alone.  It really isn’t all up to you. God never intended you to ‘do it all’.

E for EXPECT

Your focus determines your destination.

What are you focusing on?

In episode 3 of “Tea Time with TerryAnn” we look at the letter E in the word DREAM.

Expect. Expect to Succeed.  If your focus determines your destination and you constantly focus on the negative, that is the direction you will go.  Even with the focus on success, you will have setbacks. But that setback doesn’t have to change the destination.

Even if you go 2 steps forward and 1 step back, you are still one step ahead.  It’s all in how you look at it.

What successes are you expecting?

R for REJECT

In my first attempt at sitting in front of the video camera, I DARED you to take a moment to dream.

Moving on to the letter R in DREAM  I ask you to REJECT.  Reject those negative voices in your head. Reject the negative influence around you.  If there were no obstacles in the way of your dream, what would you do?

Following my own dream, and stretching my comfort zones, I am rejecting the need for perfection. I am sitting in front of the camera and once verifying the sound and picture are there, I am rejecting the desire to edit, to make perfect, to postpone posting it until everything is just right.

What do you need to reject?  How will step past the rejection and move forward?

 

Have You Stopped Dreaming?

Dreaming. As a child I dressed as a princess and dreamed of life in a castle. My Barbie (in the days before she had all these beautiful clothes, cars, and professions) could be anything I wanted. My mom’s large cooking pot was Barbie’s swimming pool. In my dreams I traveled the world.

Then life happened, I grew up, and one by one the dreams started fading away. I got so tied up in the ‘shoulds’ of life, I forgot the ‘dreams’.

Recently I bought a tiara o remind myself I am a princess. I am a child of the King of Kings! I am turning down the volume of the voices in my head telling me I am nothing.

What is holding you back from chasing your dreams? For many, it is self-doubt. Let’s step out together, face down that self-doubt and seek those possibilities we have buried.

Stretching my comfort zones, I created my first online video. I am calling it “Teatime with TerryAnn”. I am hoping it will be the 1st of many.

Let’s explore the word DREAM over the next few weeks. For the letter DI dare you. I dare you to dare yourself. Forget all the responsibilities, troubles, and obligations for 1 minute. Set the timer – 1 minute. In this 1 minute write out your dream. Let your mind wander, where will you go in this dream?

That 1 minute may feel like an eternity the first time I did it. I tried it again the next day, it was still hard. After several days, I was able to ignore the beep of the timer.

How about you? Will you join me?

DREAM. The letter D, I dare you.

What Are You Procrastinating

My husband walked into my office finding me on the floor, rearranging power cables. He looked around the room which showed the desk area obviously being re-organized and asked “What are you procrastinating?”

When I am busy with multiple major things, suddenly a minor thing creeps up and slaps me the face, calling out for my immediate attention.

What was I procrastinating? The list was long with so much to do, I wasn’t sure what to do first, so I didn’t do any of it.  Am I alone in this?

My ‘To-Do List’ can be a source of strength, keeping me going; or a source of anxiety, halting all productivity. And the thread that separates the two if often so thin it can snap at a phone call, an email, or a sudden perceived transgression.

Once I paralyze I need help to move forward. My husband’s question “what are you procrastinating” immediately unlocked something inside me that made me face the choice I had made – to ignore what I needed to do and focus, instead, on something that was mindless.

This is what a life coach does – ask the question that helps you stop and look at what you are doing from a different angle.

Yes, the power cords were bugging me and needed to be cleaned up; but not when I had several items with deadlines that needed to be addressed. I needed the nudge to correct my focus. Once I saw what I was doing I plugged the computer back in and got busy.

What are you procrastinating? How will you move forward?

My WORD of Year – 2018

Several years ago I read Debbie Macomber’s book “One Perfect Word”  and, following her example, started to declared a ‘word of the year’ for myself. I failed to do so in 2016, and felt incomplete. 

Last year the word was ‘committed’. I committed to stepping out, to moving forward, to following the path God laid before me, to believe I am not walking along.

I accepted that I may fail, but that I may also succeed. Not moving at all was definitely failing. (reminds me of a quote from Yoda – Do or Do Not. There is not try)

So I attached 2017 with a vengeance – committed to action.

I have accomplished so much, yet there is still much to do. I choose to focus on the road I have traveled, celebrating my progress. A reminder to myself, some of my accomplishments include:

  • editing the Proverbs 31 Woman group bible study into personal study in paperback and kindle
  • completing my first ‘Competent Communicator’ in Toastmasters
  • preparing the final details needed to complete my Professional Life Coach Certification thru PCCI
  • improved the regularity of my social media posting – still a work in progress
  • started to take control of the ‘’clutter’’ in my closets and in my mind

And the list continues. There is so much internally that I have faced as well.

Today is the first day of 2018. I see the road ahead. There are road blocks, detours, and various speed zones which will affect the travel, yet I will move past all of these.

My word for this year is ‘unstoppable’. I have proven to myself that I can move forward if I choose. I look back at the strides made over the past years. Now, with last year’s commitment, I grab God’s hand and say “I am ready Lord, where are we going today”.

In the Messge version of Isaiah 41:13 God replies:

That’s right. Because I, your God, have a firm grip on you and I’m not letting go. I’m telling you, ‘Don’t panic. I’m right here to help you.’

 

Unstoppable

 

What is stopping you from moving forward in 2018?

What is your WORD OF THE YEAR? How will it propel you to move forward? Consider using a life coach to help you take action and reach the higher level you desire.

Get A Life…Coach

(I recently presented this as a speech at my local Toastmasters Club)

I have heard it said, “If you don’t have a vision, you can never be focused in a direction.”

I wonder then, how do you set a goal, and once set what propels you to consistently move in that direction?

Perhaps, like me, you try searching the internet. This is fine, except for those times I don’t really know what I need to search for.

I ask friends and family. However, their answers are given from their own life perspective and experiences which may not quite align with mine.

To move forward I found I needed to look within myself.

How do I do that? In walks my introduction to a ‘life coach’.

You may have heard the term ‘life coach’ – you may even know someone who is a life coach. As with any other profession, there are various styles. Let me introduce you to Life Coaching as I use it in my own practice.

The International Coach Federation defines coaching as partnering with clients in a manner that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential; in other word – working ‘from the inside out’ rather than ‘from the outside in’.

My daughter, unknowingly, demonstrated to me a life coaching technique when she was a teenager.

She would come to me and say, “mom, I don’t want you to tell me what to do, I don’t want you to fix it, I want you to listen, to hear what I have thought through, and let me know if you see anything I may have missed or need to consider”

As a life coach, that is what I do. I listen. And I ask questions. I help you see what you are looking at from a different angle.

Last year over the Christmas holidays I opened a jigsaw puzzle and set it out. There were 5 of us working on this puzzle at the same time and this is what I learned: we had the picture in front of us and were in agreement of what the end goal was – to make these pieces look like that picture; however, each of us had our own method of reaching that goal. We all started out the same – find the outer edge pieces and make the border. But then, we each went our own way of working through the process. Jon took a piece and worked methodically along pieces already in place and tested to see if it fit, then moved on to another piece. Angela looked for pieces that fit together, even if just 2 or 3 pieces, and worked to create a lot of partial fittings. My granddaughter and I looked at what everyone else did and mottled through trying to expand from their work. A few times, we switched chairs. With the new perspective the pieces to the puzzle suddenly fit in places we had not noticed before. Everyone had their own method to reach the same goal.

As your life coach, I help you find your method to reach your goal. I provide you with the tools you need make the decisions you require to get the job done. I walk with you on your journey toward your goal. I will remind you of your goal, your values, your priorities along the way when life’s detours and road hazards call your focus away from your destination. And, as your life coach I celebrate with you your successes.

Are you ready for a Life Coach? Ask yourself these questions:

• Do I want to grow and change?

• Have I made efforts to change within the past year?

• Am I capable of thinking about the future?

• Am I open to learning?

• Am I committed to making changes?

• Am I willing to learn from others?

• Am I willing to take risks?

• Am I willing to restructure my life if necessary?

If you answered YES to any these questions, you might want to consider connecting with Life Coach to help you as move forward. If this is something you are interested in learning about, I have some references for you from organizations I am associated with that may be of help.

Working ‘from the inside out’ what jigsaw puzzles are developing your life? What steps are you taking you need to clarify? Are there detours on your path you have not considered? Maybe it’s time to ask a life coach to help fill your toolbox.

You have the vision, and now you have tools to keep you focused on the direction, it’s time to begin the journey.

Keeping the Pieces Together

 

You are so busy. You struggle to keep all the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle of your life together- home, church, family, kids afterschool activities, work, and the list goes on.

Jigsaw-Puzzle_filled_tap

You must plan ahead and determine what pieces of the puzzle (a.k.a your life) will get a ‘yes’ response from you and which will get a ‘no’ response.

Before the holiday season becomes hectic for you, take a look at your situation. Where will you focus your energy? What will be your priorities? Plan now so you can enjoy the holidays instead of dreading them.

Jigsaw-Puzzle_tap

Place your priorities in this puzzle and determine to keep yourself pieced together. Just like putting together a manufactured jigsaw puzzle, there are boundaries. Set your boundaries and build the beautiful picture that is you within them.

Voices in My Head

I suffer from a problem I am sure none of you ever face. I experience bouts of low self-esteem and lack of confidence.

I know, I know, this is unfamiliar to you, but if you will allow me to share my story with you, perhaps you will have a clearer understanding.

Inside my head are a bunch of ping pong balls that bounce around triggering thoughts and ideas – sometimes they run in supercharge mode and hit all the negative nerves inside my brain …and occasionally hit on ones I didn’t know existed. These negative thoughts turn the volume up until nothing else can be heard except the slow and steady drumming. Think of that car that passes by your house with bass turned so high the windows rattle. Yeah, that’s my mind-field.

Several months ago my small group did a video study by Pastor Steve Furtick. I had never heard of this guy, but the title looked interesting – Crash The Chatterbox.

In this study he described the thoughts we have and voices we listen to as a factory, and we must maintain quality control. That was interesting in itself, but what really got my attention were the sessions where he ‘interviewed the chatterbox’. He personalized the chatterbox by having someone portray this chatterbox. He demeaned the interviewer, reminded him of his failures, and hinted at others displeasure of him. It appealed to me because, by placing a face and personality to this negative trait, it changed the way I looked at ‘the ping pong balls’.

Taking my cue from the chatterbox interview I created my own ‘chatterbox’. I used one of my teddy bears.

Are you a Star Trek fan? Do you know what happens when a crew member in a red shirt joins the away team? Yeah, that person won’t be back. The term “red shirt” is defined on Wikipedia as a stock character in fiction who dies soon after being introduced.

So, I got out one of my Star Trek bears, dressed appropriately in a red shirt, and named him “chatterbox”. When the negativity strikes I tell my red shirt chatterbox to shut up.

Occasionally, before dying, a red shirt will say something that may be referred to throughout the show. Thus, my red shirt doesn’t always stay quiet. So, I created a NO CHATTERBOX ALLOWED sign. I put the bear in the box and ban it from mind. Hey, whatever works!

Still, the chatterbox tries to call out to me. I need another defense!

This one comes in the form of a Tiara. Every woman should have a tiara.

It started in fun. I commented one day needing a tiara to remind me I am a daughter of the King and my wonderful husband, on his next trip to run errands, picked up a tiara for me.

I put the tiara on to remind myself of my worth. I am royalty! My Heavenly Father is the King!

In a quick check of google I found some tips on how royalty is to be treated. Here are a few tips I learned and modified to tell my chatterbox it was unwelcome.

• Do not initiate conversation with royalty – Chatterbox, you may not start with me

• During a formal dinner, stop eating when the queen does – Chatterbox, stop chewing on my life, my past failures, perceived indiscretions, and inaccuracies.

• A non-royal must never touch a person of royalty – chatterbox, keep your distance; and stay out of my head!!

• Most importantly, take the lead from the royal person – Chatterbox, please leave me alone.

Speech_8_photo-9x6Yes, this is silly. But when I get a glimpse of myself with my tiara as I pass a mirror or see my reflection in a window or even in the monitor of my computer, I get a little smile. I stand a little taller. I walk with a surer step. I have the strength to block the chatterbox out.

Is it silly if it works? Yes, it is probably still silly. But there are is so much negativity around us it seeps into lives and can take over. We must find ways to see beyond it, to change the focus and the self talk.

For me, it’s a teddy bear in a box with a not welcome sign on it and a tiara on my head. How do you destroy the chatterbox in your life?

Draw Me A Picture With Your Words

I love to use word pictures to try to describe what is happening in my mind’s eye.  I can see something but it is fuzzy, and unclear. By speaking out the picture to someone it becomes clearer. Focus becomes sharper. I can see it and now I can choose how to act on it.

One thing I really enjoy about the coaching process is using questions to help bring that picture into focus. With my own life coach I often describe a bunch of ping pong balls bouncing around, each with a different thought or idea. When it strikes my mind goes there, but before I can focus on that thought or idea, another ball bounces and another thought starts to form. This continues until I am filled with disjointed and ideas that paralyze me from moving forward.

pingpongballs

My coach has learned how to use this scenario to bring clarity and focus by addressing the ping pong balls.

To some, this word picture may be ridiculous. My coach might even think that. But that doesn’t matter. It is my mind, my focus. As a coach she walks alongside me using the metaphor I describe and helps me to examine it, to look closely, and understand within myself what I am seeking.

Another word picture I have seen many use in coaching calls is that of a road. To some the road and clear and they are speeding along it; others find various road blocks and unexpected turns.

road

road_closed_sign_lg_clr_me (1)

As a life coach I enter your word picture and walk with you.

What word pictures would you use to describe a goal you desire to reach?

What will it take to move you forward from where you are

youareherepin

to where you and God desire you to be?

GetHere_Clickable_button copy

I’d love to discuss this with you. Click the “move forward” tab to start the conversation. If possible, I would love to enter the journey with you.