For years I have received mixed messages. As a strong woman if I spoke up or stepped out I was criticized for being headstrong, over-confident, bossy.
Then when I didn’t speak out or step us I was being timid.
I couldn’t win. Especially if I was trying to please others. There is no way to please everyone. This then leads to inner confusion.
I cannot please everyone. That was hard enough to learn. But then I heard someone tell about a time she was in a meeting and was told “you are intimidating’. Another responded “is she intimidating or are you intimidated?”
Is she intimidating, or are you intimidated?
I stopped to consider this. I am not responsible for their thoughts or feelings. I only have control over mine. While I will not intentionally set out to hurt someone, just because they are hurt or upset, it doesn’t mean I did something wrong.
This comment made me stop to remember that. Perspective makes all the difference.
What is something someone said that stopped you in your tracks causing you to reconsider your perspective?
I find it easy to lose my confidence. It could start from a word someone says, or a glance, a feeling I have done something wrong. Once I let a pin hole of doubt invade by confidence, it continually seeps, like a deflated balloon.
There are so many ways my confidence slowly fills back up, but I never notice what or how. I certainly hold onto those things that deflate me, but haven’t spent much time noticing when my confidence is growing.
Thus, the Journal prompt for this week. “I feel most confident when I….”
I want to encourage you this week to take note of what deflates and inflates your confidence.
I battle the voices declaring who I am when I look in the mirror. Voices of negativity, of not being good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, loved.
Over time I began to look differently at that view. It was no longer my eyes, but God’s eyes looking back at me.
I am made in His image (Genesis 1:27), His handiwork (Ephesians 2:10). He knew me and loved me before I was created (Psalm 139:13-16). I am a child of God (1 John 3:1), a daughter of the King, a Princess!!
I smile when I put on my plastic $5 party store tiara. I am a princess! This simple item brings me back to child-like faith. I can set aside my tears and fears and fell wrapped in the arms of God. He loves me. I am beautiful. I am enough.
As the pastor was discussing the vision for the upcoming year, he mentioned things that younger people respond to. While discussing this with my husband on the way home I realized when I was younger there were things I wished the church would do that I could more easily respond to. Older people were saying ‘we have always done it this way’ or ‘they need to learn to accept things as they are’ and on and on. Here I am, decades later saying ‘but what about the people who are here now’ and ‘what about me’ and on and on.
When I look back, I see many changes in my life reflecting my age at the time.
Many changes have taken place in my life. I was a young mother of small children at one time. Today I am the grandmother of teenagers. Once I wore skirts above my knees, today I seldom wear a skirt. Once I would only wear my best outfit to church, today I wore jeans and sandals. Time change.
The most difficult thing I find about being this age (60 at the time of this writing) is accepting that I am this age. When I was younger, anyone this age was OLD! People this age were talking of retiring. Today, I look in the mirror and see someone who is no where near retirement; someone who still has so much life to live.
How did I get to be this age? I guess the more important question I need to consider after looking at the most difficult thing about being this age, is what am I going to do with my life – even at this age.
How about you? No matter your age, there are difficulties to consider. What are some of yours?