Category Archives: Life Coaching

Your Self-Worth Does Not Come From the Opinions of Others

Kansas City is currently in celebration.

Yesterday, the Kansas City Chiefs won the AFC Championship and are now headed to the Super Bowl, led by quarterback Patrick Mahomes.

I am not a big sports fan, but I will admit to climbing on the celebration wagon. But this post is not about the Kansas City Chiefs. Well, not exactly.

Patrick Mahomes came to the team in 2017. He has shown himself to be an impressive leader and player. He is the talk of the town, and the country right now. Many are excited about this man.

A recent Kansas City Star article points out not everyone thought Patrick would make a good player when he was first drafted. Some of the comments of that time quoted in the article include:

Stephen A Smith✔@stephenasmith Damn this. You’ve got to be kidding me. Patrick MaHomes gets picked over DeShaun Watson? Really. Why bother working out for these teams!!!

The Chiefs got a C-minus from Vinnie Iyer of the Sporting News. He wrote: “Trading up for Mahomes, a big-armed gunslinger who really doesn’t mesh with the true mentality as Alex Smith’s successor, set up a bad tone in this draft.”

Steven Ruiz of USA Today gave the Chiefs a C-minus for picking Mahomes. He wrote: “Calling Mahomes a project is a major understatement. He’s nowhere near ready to play in the NFL. And, honestly, he may never be. Between his inconsistent accuracy due to poor mechanics, his tendency to bail from clean pockets and his lack of field vision, he’s going to leave as many big plays on the field as he creates. This was a risky pick.”

It would be easy for Patrick Mahomes to read these comments and feel inferior, less than worthy of the position he was selected for. But he didn’t. He worked hard to learn, to improve his skills, and to become the man he is today. He got productive training and coaching.

What happens when you get ‘bad press’; when you hear someone comment how you will never measure up; when you have stepped out to try something that wasn’t successful?

Do you accept that as your self-worth, living in defeat?

Or do you, like Patrick Mahomes, look away from the negativity and toward the goal, finding those along the way who are able to help you grow?

Your self-worth is not determined by the opinions of others. Ephesians 2:10 says we are a masterpiece, made by God. In Psalm 139:14 we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Don’t let others declare your self-worth. Accept the truth from God, your creator. Step forward, accept the truth and look away from the negativity of others.

Let them stay in the muck of negative talk while you grow and improve and become all you can. Don’t let their opinion determine your self-worth.

You are worth far more than their opinion.

2020 First Journal Prompt

And just like that, it is the year 2020.

Last week on New Year’s Eve I remembered back to that night in 1999. I was the computer department for a medium-sized doctor organization with multiple locations. I stayed up all night checking the servers and ready to run to the offices on a moment’s notice if the world were to come to an end when all the computers changed from 1999 to 2000.

Nothing happened, I didn’t have to run out into the night and I slept in the next day.

It is hard to believe that it was 20 years ago. So much has happened in my life in these 20 years.

Each year I set goals for myself. Some I followed through on; others I tossed aside.

Thinking back on this caused me to address this in a journal prompt.

Statistics show that only about 8% of the New Year Resolutions made are completed. Why? There is no commitment, no buy-in.

I want to encourage you this week to carefully consider:

What are your top goals for 2020?

Why is each one important to you?

What will accomplishing these goals give you?

Take some time this week to establish a goal. Make it a smart goal.: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Based.

If you would like to talk about these goals one-on-one, send me a message.

Imagine it is now 2021 and you are discussing your accomplishments of the previous year. What will you be celebrating?

Decade-End Journal Prompt

As this year, this decade is coming to a close, I am reminded how far I have come and how I have grown over the past 10 years.

Some steps may be small, but they are steps ahead nonetheless.

I intentionally defied doctor recommendations and fought to quit taking opioid medications even before the big society push to do so. It took over a year, but I did it.

I completed studies at the Professional Christian Coach Institute and obtained my first level of certification, CPLC (Certified Professional Life Coach).

I hosted local workshops on Boundaries using material from Doctors Cloud and Townsend. I also hosted local workshops on Defeating the Lies of Negative Self-Talk with the materials I created.

Journal prompts were posted weekly. I am working on consistency in all areas of online posting.

Other changes were small.

Like making an effort to wear make-up. I don’t usually do more than a foundation so I am like a teenager playing with make-up colors and techniques.

Despite the physical pain, I strive to walk – even a short distance – weekly.

I am working toward a routine of personal time with God.

There is no major life-changing step, yet there is so much to celebrate. Yes, there were failures. I learned from each one and used it as a step toward success.

What are you celebrating as this decade comes to a close? Take a moment to review. Write out your successes, no matter how small. Every step forward is significant.

CELEBRATE IT!!

Week 48 – Journal Prompt

The year is coming to an end. At the beginning of the year there was so much excitement, so much time, so much to do.

How have you kept up throughout the year? I imagine you, like me, had several hiccups and interruptions along the way. After each I then had a choice, return to goal, or leave it behind and go on to another project.

Now, as the year-end is drawing near I am looking back at the goals I set for myself. Though not always where I want to be, I find I am still on track. Now I must decide, do I focus on its completion – or at the very least continue to move forward toward it? Some days it may not feel like it but if I look closer I can see that there are choices along the way.

Looking back, what did you promise yourself you would do? How close are you? What would it take to complete it?

I will process this with my own life coach to get clarity for myself. How or with whom will you process your list? Contact me if I can help.

Journal Week 47

With Thanksgiving approaching, social media is filled with posts of being grateful.

When I stop to truly look at what I have to be grateful for, my heart rejoices. Sometimes, I truly must stop and look for these things. It is so easy some days to just wallow in pity for something that isn’t the way I want it to be. Then I intentionally seek out those things/people/etc for which I am so thankful.

I am most grateful for.........
because.........

It’s like taking off blinders to see the true picture.

I wonder, what are you grateful for today? What about that makes you thankful?

Spend some time in your journal with a heart of praise and remind yourself what you have to be grateful for.

Being Alone – Journal Prompt Week 45

I like being alone. Sometimes.

I like being around people. Sometimes.

I get a lot of work done when I can focus without interruption. I feel successful when I complete a task. Interruptions to anything I am trying can be beneficial in allowing me time to take a break. At other times the interruption breaks the momentum and I have trouble returning to the project.

For me, there is no ‘one way’ to assign being alone. There are days I crave personal interaction and am energized by the people around me.

I know, I know. I sound wishy/washy, I am. For me there is one specific way for me to interact. I know when I need to be alone and I make it a point to get that alone time. I know when I need to be around people, even if it is simply walking the mall and people watching.

I cannot answer the question with a definitive answer. However, I know that I need both alone time and personal connections.

This prompt really got me thinking. How about you?

When Those Around You Tell You ‘Do Not Go’

You have spent time preparing to step into your dream. You have saved, studied, and made the necessary arrangements to move forward.

Then you tell those around you, those whose opinion you respect, expecting to hear words of affirmation and congratulations, only to be told how wrong you are to pursue this.

How do you step past the negativity and into the unknown, with positive self-confidence?

Today on “Tea Time with CoachTA” I talk with Connie Menser of Full Supply Inc. We discuss that moment when she chose to leave her full time career to join the Navigators, and the path where that decision has led.

Journal Prompt, week 39

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

I battle the voices declaring who I am when I look in the mirror. Voices of negativity, of not being good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, loved.

Over time I began to look differently at that view. It was no longer my eyes, but God’s eyes looking back at me.

I am made in His image (Genesis 1:27), His handiwork (Ephesians 2:10). He knew me and loved me before I was created (Psalm 139:13-16). I am a child of God (1 John 3:1), a daughter of the King, a Princess!!

I smile when I put on my plastic $5 party store tiara. I am a princess! This simple item brings me back to child-like faith. I can set aside my tears and fears and fell wrapped in the arms of God. He loves me. I am beautiful. I am enough.

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

Who Is Telling You ‘No’?

I had the honor of interviewing Amanda Keleher this week. Amanda is a woman of strong vision, seeing what most people miss.

I met Amanda about a year and a half ago. I was immediately impressed. Despite being blind, this beautiful woman sees more than many around her.

Amanda is a courage coach, partnering with Christian women who are doing #allthethings, but still not living the abundant life God promised.

In this interview Amanda and I talk about the 3 people who tell women ‘no’ and some strategies for overcoming obstacles. You can find more about Amanda at her website vibrantvisioncoaching.com

Journal Prompt – Week 37

I recently came across a quote from John Steinbeck’s book “East of Eden”. It reads, ‘now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good’.

If I read the book before I do not recall. I have since, bought the book. The phrase says so much too much to me.

And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be goo.

First and foremost, I find the phrase to be freeing. I know I can not perfect, yet I expect perfection in myself.

I don’t expect perfection from others, yet I expect perfection in myself.

WHY!?!?!?

I used to believe striving for perfection meant I was giving it my best. I have since realized it just meant nothing I ever did would never be good enough.

It’s a struggle to allow myself to be happy with ‘good enough’; to quit looking and thinking I coulda/shoulda/woulda done better.

Striving for perfection and knowing it couldn’t be achieved only paralyzed me. If it can’t be perfect don’t do anything became the rule.

Expecting perfection in everything took something away from me – internal peace. There is constant frustration, anger, and self loathing when the chaos of imperfection rules.

Once I accepted ‘good enough’ I accomplished so much more. And I am able to enjoy my accomplishments.

Do you struggle with ‘good enough’? Are you willing to accept it?

What perfection is holding you back?