Category Archives: Life Coaching

What’s Your Zone?

What zone are you experiencing today?
COVID-19 has certainly turned life upside down.

Everyone reacts differently. In the midst of this chaos, there can be conflict. Often this conflict centers around others not responding as we do. We expect everyone to feel as we do.

They don’t. And they won’t.

An unpleasant truth is that you cannot control the reactions of others. You can help, but you cannot change others. You are the only one you can change.

Are you reacting, or responding?

I found this graphic on FB. I can’t give credit to the creator as I have no idea where it originated. I like how it describes 3 zones looking at “Who do I want to be during COVID-19?”

Note, it doesn’t ask “who am I?” It asks “who do I want to be?” There is a difference.

Where are you on the chart? Are in the Fear Zone? Learning? Growth? Where would you like to be? The difference between the two is the gap you must cross.

How are you going to cross that gap? As a life coach, I can help you move along that path.

Journal Prompt – Don’t Stop Now

You started the year stating a Big Goal and worked diligently toward it.

Then, BAMM, life happened and you are quarantined.

How has it affected your progress? What can you do during this time to stay focused on your Big Goal?

I am currently involved in Bible Study on the book of Ruth. The speaker made a statement I find so appropriate.

I didn’t come this far, just to come this far.

Yes, life has definitely thrown a curve ball. But it hasn’t thrown us out of the game.

Take some time to re-evaluate your Big Goal. For some, this may cause them to see it isn’t the priority they thought. There is something much bigger to move toward.

For others, it may confirm the value of this Big Goal. “Achieving this goal will help me be prepared for another attack from life (and there will be ) by……..”

Remind yourself why that goal was important to you a few months ago. Focus on the end result. You can still get there. Make plans to step around the obstacles and continue to move forward. It is within your grasp.

Keep going.

This pandemic will end. Don’t let it end your dream.

Perspective in Quarantine

Like most of you, I am under a “stay-at-home order”, a guideline seeking to flatten the curve of the COVID-19 pandemic.

For me, life is not very different. My husband works from home already. I write these posts and encourage others from home. We don’t just leave the house at a moment’s notice anymore, and our small group now meets online instead of at my dining table. Other than that, our lives remain the same. I am blessed.

But for many, there is a dramatic change in their lives. Schools are cancelled. Businesses are ordered closed. Families are together under one roof 24/7. The children don’t understand why they can’t go to the playground.

The chaos of all this can definitely bring a person down. It is easy to get stuck in the “I have to” and “I cannot” and “They will not let me” frame of mind.

I have to be with the family 24/7. I have to cook meals, we can’t go anywhere. I have to pick up all day long.

The more you focus on I have to, the more pressure you will feel. Saying this yourself makes it a command, something you don’t want to do. Think of your child when they tell their friends “I cannot play right now, I have to clean my room.” They don’t want to do that and are focusing on what they cannot do because they have to do something else.

PERSPECTIVE MAKES THE DIFFERENCE

By focusing on the feeling of having to do something, you are telling yourself you really don’t have a choice. The truth is, you do. Let’s be honest, you can choose to ignore the stay-at-home order. You can choose not to cook. You can choose to ignore your family.

And like any choice, there are consequences.

So what if you chose to work within the confines. What if, instead of ‘I have to cook so many meals” became “I get to show my children how to make our favorite dish.” What is “I have so much laundry to do” was stated “I get to keep my family clean and clothed. I can even use this time as an opportunity to show them how it is done.” What if “I have to spend the whole day with these people” became “I get to spend time with my family. What fun thing can we do together?”

Another difference perspective makes is in the general atmosphere around you. If you are frustrated and discouraged that you have to be there, that will translate to the others around you.

She looketh well to the ways of her household (Proverbs 31:27). You can help your family get through this. Check your perspective. How is it leading those around you?

  • You have to practice social distancing, you get to help preserve the health of yourself and others.
  • You have to stay away from friends and family, you get to use today’s technology to call, text, video chat.
  • You have to stay inside. You get to do those things you have put off because you didn’t have time: crafts, clean out a closet, play board games with the kids.

Change your Perspective, find unseen Possibilities. Look at the new Pathways that are open. On which will you Proceed.

How are you keeping your perspective during this difficult time? Share thoughts and ideas below.

‘One of Those Days’ – a journal prompt

I was recently reminded of the Carpenters song “Rainy Days and Mondays Always Get Me Down”.

Everyone has them. One of those days that just get you down. Nothing really wrong, just blah.

I started thinking about that. When I have those days, what lifts my spirits? A few thoughts immediately came to mind.

  • Neil Diamond music turned up real loud
  • Talking with a friend
  • Playing a board game

What lifts your spirits on ‘one of those’ days?

Journal Prompt

Today is Monday. As I am planning my week I ask myself one question,

How will what I am doing now, bring me closer to my year-end goal?

I have set the course. There will be checkpoints along the way. I must keep my eye on the prize.

This isn’t always easy.

I am a natural multi-tasker. It is not unusual to have more than a dozen tabs open on my browser, WORD, my checkbook software, and more at the same time. I do a little here, a little there, start something else, make a phone call, and continue at this pace. (This also explains why I have a number of knit and crochet projects in various bags in my closet.)

While I do get a lot done, I accept that I would get more if I worked one project all the way through, then move on. Knowing and doing are two separate issues.

Thus, this week’s journal prompt. I have my word of the year. I have goals for this year. I don’t want to keep starting new things. I want to keep growing and learning with a goal in mind. If a new project takes me away from the goal, then I need to reconsider where it will lead me.

This week means completing and posting this blog post, continuing to prepare for the next Defeating the LIES workshop, preparing speeches for upcoming Toastmasters events, and resting when my mind and body say ‘enough’.

What goals do you have for this week, and where are they leading you?

Your Self-Worth Does Not Come From the Opinions of Others

Kansas City is currently in celebration.

Yesterday, the Kansas City Chiefs won the AFC Championship and are now headed to the Super Bowl, led by quarterback Patrick Mahomes.

I am not a big sports fan, but I will admit to climbing on the celebration wagon. But this post is not about the Kansas City Chiefs. Well, not exactly.

Patrick Mahomes came to the team in 2017. He has shown himself to be an impressive leader and player. He is the talk of the town, and the country right now. Many are excited about this man.

A recent Kansas City Star article points out not everyone thought Patrick would make a good player when he was first drafted. Some of the comments of that time quoted in the article include:

Stephen A Smith✔@stephenasmith Damn this. You’ve got to be kidding me. Patrick MaHomes gets picked over DeShaun Watson? Really. Why bother working out for these teams!!!

The Chiefs got a C-minus from Vinnie Iyer of the Sporting News. He wrote: “Trading up for Mahomes, a big-armed gunslinger who really doesn’t mesh with the true mentality as Alex Smith’s successor, set up a bad tone in this draft.”

Steven Ruiz of USA Today gave the Chiefs a C-minus for picking Mahomes. He wrote: “Calling Mahomes a project is a major understatement. He’s nowhere near ready to play in the NFL. And, honestly, he may never be. Between his inconsistent accuracy due to poor mechanics, his tendency to bail from clean pockets and his lack of field vision, he’s going to leave as many big plays on the field as he creates. This was a risky pick.”

It would be easy for Patrick Mahomes to read these comments and feel inferior, less than worthy of the position he was selected for. But he didn’t. He worked hard to learn, to improve his skills, and to become the man he is today. He got productive training and coaching.

What happens when you get ‘bad press’; when you hear someone comment how you will never measure up; when you have stepped out to try something that wasn’t successful?

Do you accept that as your self-worth, living in defeat?

Or do you, like Patrick Mahomes, look away from the negativity and toward the goal, finding those along the way who are able to help you grow?

Your self-worth is not determined by the opinions of others. Ephesians 2:10 says we are a masterpiece, made by God. In Psalm 139:14 we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Don’t let others declare your self-worth. Accept the truth from God, your creator. Step forward, accept the truth and look away from the negativity of others.

Let them stay in the muck of negative talk while you grow and improve and become all you can. Don’t let their opinion determine your self-worth.

You are worth far more than their opinion.

2020 First Journal Prompt

And just like that, it is the year 2020.

Last week on New Year’s Eve I remembered back to that night in 1999. I was the computer department for a medium-sized doctor organization with multiple locations. I stayed up all night checking the servers and ready to run to the offices on a moment’s notice if the world were to come to an end when all the computers changed from 1999 to 2000.

Nothing happened, I didn’t have to run out into the night and I slept in the next day.

It is hard to believe that it was 20 years ago. So much has happened in my life in these 20 years.

Each year I set goals for myself. Some I followed through on; others I tossed aside.

Thinking back on this caused me to address this in a journal prompt.

Statistics show that only about 8% of the New Year Resolutions made are completed. Why? There is no commitment, no buy-in.

I want to encourage you this week to carefully consider:

What are your top goals for 2020?

Why is each one important to you?

What will accomplishing these goals give you?

Take some time this week to establish a goal. Make it a smart goal.: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Based.

If you would like to talk about these goals one-on-one, send me a message.

Imagine it is now 2021 and you are discussing your accomplishments of the previous year. What will you be celebrating?

Decade-End Journal Prompt

As this year, this decade is coming to a close, I am reminded how far I have come and how I have grown over the past 10 years.

Some steps may be small, but they are steps ahead nonetheless.

I intentionally defied doctor recommendations and fought to quit taking opioid medications even before the big society push to do so. It took over a year, but I did it.

I completed studies at the Professional Christian Coach Institute and obtained my first level of certification, CPLC (Certified Professional Life Coach).

I hosted local workshops on Boundaries using material from Doctors Cloud and Townsend. I also hosted local workshops on Defeating the Lies of Negative Self-Talk with the materials I created.

Journal prompts were posted weekly. I am working on consistency in all areas of online posting.

Other changes were small.

Like making an effort to wear make-up. I don’t usually do more than a foundation so I am like a teenager playing with make-up colors and techniques.

Despite the physical pain, I strive to walk – even a short distance – weekly.

I am working toward a routine of personal time with God.

There is no major life-changing step, yet there is so much to celebrate. Yes, there were failures. I learned from each one and used it as a step toward success.

What are you celebrating as this decade comes to a close? Take a moment to review. Write out your successes, no matter how small. Every step forward is significant.

CELEBRATE IT!!

Week 48 – Journal Prompt

The year is coming to an end. At the beginning of the year there was so much excitement, so much time, so much to do.

How have you kept up throughout the year? I imagine you, like me, had several hiccups and interruptions along the way. After each I then had a choice, return to goal, or leave it behind and go on to another project.

Now, as the year-end is drawing near I am looking back at the goals I set for myself. Though not always where I want to be, I find I am still on track. Now I must decide, do I focus on its completion – or at the very least continue to move forward toward it? Some days it may not feel like it but if I look closer I can see that there are choices along the way.

Looking back, what did you promise yourself you would do? How close are you? What would it take to complete it?

I will process this with my own life coach to get clarity for myself. How or with whom will you process your list? Contact me if I can help.

Journal Week 47

With Thanksgiving approaching, social media is filled with posts of being grateful.

When I stop to truly look at what I have to be grateful for, my heart rejoices. Sometimes, I truly must stop and look for these things. It is so easy some days to just wallow in pity for something that isn’t the way I want it to be. Then I intentionally seek out those things/people/etc for which I am so thankful.

I am most grateful for.........
because.........

It’s like taking off blinders to see the true picture.

I wonder, what are you grateful for today? What about that makes you thankful?

Spend some time in your journal with a heart of praise and remind yourself what you have to be grateful for.