For some, that statement brings on excitement and pleasant anticipation.
For others, sadness, anxiety, and turmoil.
What about you? What emotions doe the holidays bring forth in you?
I have mixed emotions. I enjoy decorating, setting up my “Christmas Village” and hooking up the big Christmas bear in my front yard. I love driving around to find homes and neighborhoods decked out with beautiful lights. I can sit for long periods of time near a house where they set up the music to match the lights.
I always enjoy gift giving. However, I dread the obligation of gift-giving. Giving because “I have to” verses giving because “I want to”. The desire to be a People-Pleaser comes to the surface. It creates anxiety and paralyzes me. The fun and joy fade away.
How about you? Write to yourself with this week’s journal. What do you like/dislike about the holiday season?
I get a lot of work done when I can focus without interruption. I feel successful when I complete a task. Interruptions to anything I am trying can be beneficial in allowing me time to take a break. At other times the interruption breaks the momentum and I have trouble returning to the project.
For me, there is no ‘one way’ to assign being alone. There are days I crave personal interaction and am energized by the people around me.
I know, I know. I sound wishy/washy, I am. For me there is one specific way for me to interact. I know when I need to be alone and I make it a point to get that alone time. I know when I need to be around people, even if it is simply walking the mall and people watching.
I cannot answer the question with a definitive answer. However, I know that I need both alone time and personal connections.
This prompt really got me thinking. How about you?
For years I have received mixed messages. As a strong woman if I spoke up or stepped out I was criticized for being headstrong, over-confident, bossy.
Then when I didn’t speak out or step us I was being timid.
I couldn’t win. Especially if I was trying to please others. There is no way to please everyone. This then leads to inner confusion.
I cannot please everyone. That was hard enough to learn. But then I heard someone tell about a time she was in a meeting and was told “you are intimidating’. Another responded “is she intimidating or are you intimidated?”
Is she intimidating, or are you intimidated?
I stopped to consider this. I am not responsible for their thoughts or feelings. I only have control over mine. While I will not intentionally set out to hurt someone, just because they are hurt or upset, it doesn’t mean I did something wrong.
This comment made me stop to remember that. Perspective makes all the difference.
What is something someone said that stopped you in your tracks causing you to reconsider your perspective?
I find it easy to lose my confidence. It could start from a word someone says, or a glance, a feeling I have done something wrong. Once I let a pin hole of doubt invade by confidence, it continually seeps, like a deflated balloon.
There are so many ways my confidence slowly fills back up, but I never notice what or how. I certainly hold onto those things that deflate me, but haven’t spent much time noticing when my confidence is growing.
Thus, the Journal prompt for this week. “I feel most confident when I….”
I want to encourage you this week to take note of what deflates and inflates your confidence.
Some of my most frustrating moments come when I say ‘yes’ to something I wanted to say ‘no’ to.
Do you do the same? The journal prompt for this week asks “How do you feel when you do this?”
A hard lesson to learn was that ‘no’ is a complete sentence. It is okay to say ‘no’ and not give a long drawn out explanation as to why. Once I finally realized this, I was able to step further in my “Recovering People Pleaser” phase. I do slip back at times, but each time I am reminded why I learned to say ‘no’
By saying ‘no’ to things that stretch me beyond my coping skills, I can enjoy the times I say ‘yes’ more fully.