Your Self-Worth Does Not Come From the Opinions of Others

Posted on January 20, 2020 by | Leave a comment

Kansas City is currently in celebration.

Yesterday, the Kansas City Chiefs won the AFC Championship and are now headed to the Super Bowl, led by quarterback Patrick Mahomes.

I am not a big sports fan, but I will admit to climbing on the celebration wagon. But this post is not about the Kansas City Chiefs. Well, not exactly.

Patrick Mahomes came to the team in 2017. He has shown himself to be an impressive leader and player. He is the talk of the town, and the country right now. Many are excited about this man.

A recent Kansas City Star article points out not everyone thought Patrick would make a good player when he was first drafted. Some of the comments of that time quoted in the article include:

Stephen A Smith✔@stephenasmith Damn this. You’ve got to be kidding me. Patrick MaHomes gets picked over DeShaun Watson? Really. Why bother working out for these teams!!!

The Chiefs got a C-minus from Vinnie Iyer of the Sporting News. He wrote: “Trading up for Mahomes, a big-armed gunslinger who really doesn’t mesh with the true mentality as Alex Smith’s successor, set up a bad tone in this draft.”

Steven Ruiz of USA Today gave the Chiefs a C-minus for picking Mahomes. He wrote: “Calling Mahomes a project is a major understatement. He’s nowhere near ready to play in the NFL. And, honestly, he may never be. Between his inconsistent accuracy due to poor mechanics, his tendency to bail from clean pockets and his lack of field vision, he’s going to leave as many big plays on the field as he creates. This was a risky pick.”

It would be easy for Patrick Mahomes to read these comments and feel inferior, less than worthy of the position he was selected for. But he didn’t. He worked hard to learn, to improve his skills, and to become the man he is today. He got productive training and coaching.

What happens when you get ‘bad press’; when you hear someone comment how you will never measure up; when you have stepped out to try something that wasn’t successful?

Do you accept that as your self-worth, living in defeat?

Or do you, like Patrick Mahomes, look away from the negativity and toward the goal, finding those along the way who are able to help you grow?

Your self-worth is not determined by the opinions of others. Ephesians 2:10 says we are a masterpiece, made by God. In Psalm 139:14 we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Don’t let others declare your self-worth. Accept the truth from God, your creator. Step forward, accept the truth and look away from the negativity of others.

Let them stay in the muck of negative talk while you grow and improve and become all you can. Don’t let their opinion determine your self-worth.

You are worth far more than their opinion.

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Posted in Encouragement, LIES, Life Coaching, People Pleasing

Weekly Journal Prompt

Posted on January 19, 2020 by | Leave a comment

Whether you have been following along the journal prompts for the past year, a few months, or even are just now starting, the goal is to help you look inside yourself. Sometimes we have the strength we don’t realize is there.

Journaling helps to bring that hidden strength to the surface.

This week, take a moment to recall a person, story or incident from your childhood that brings you comfort. What about the story is important? Why is it memorable? What about it is comforting?

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Posted in Encouragement, Journal Prompt

Got a Bucket List?

Posted on January 14, 2020 by | Leave a comment

What is on your bucket list? Why is that item on your bucket list?

That is the journal prompt for this week.

Many people I know have a bucket list – things they want to do one day. Others just say there are things they’d like to do. Me? I just say ‘one day I might like to do that.’

For your bucket list consider:

  • Why is it on your bucket list?
  • What do you want to get out of that?
  • What will it take to do that?
  • Why have you not done it yet?
  • What will you feel like once you have done it?

Just to name a few questions.

What bucket list item is the first one you will complete?

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Posted in Encouragement, Goal Setting, Journal Prompt

Renew My Thoughts

Posted on January 8, 2020 by | Leave a comment

Let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. – Ephesians 4:23NLT

I stand in front of the mirror and face my biggest critic. I see all of her faults. I am reminded of her failures. I struggle as I hear her words grow louder in my head.

  • You are no good.
  • You are ugly
  • Another day, another screw-up.

Ephesians 4:23 tells us to ‘Let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.” I have to drown out those negative voices with the truth. I must change my thoughts, my attitudes. I need to let the Spirit renew them.

To do so I must find other thoughts to dwell on. Philippians 4:8 guides us in this by telling us to dwell on whatever is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good repute.

Both verses show this is not a magic pill or an immediate flip of the switch. It also shows this is something I have control over. Once I accept I do have control over this, I must choose to dwell on what is right and let the Spirit work within me.

I can and am able to take control of my negative self-talk.

One way I have chosen to do this is by using the acronym LIES. I must look at, evaluate, and replace the negativity, the lies that I use against myself and replace them with the truth.

James Allen, in his book “As A Man Thinketh” writes

All that you accomplish or fail to accomplish with your life is the direct result of your thoughts. You are today where your thoughts have brought you;’ you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.

Getting to this point of negative self-talk took time to develop and it will take time to move away from it. It will take work and dedication. I will fail along the way, but that won’t be the end of it. I will capture the wrong thinking, discard it, remind myself of the truth, and move forward.

I am a member of a local Toastmasters Club and recently presented a 7-minute speech titled “Don’t Lie To Me”. In it, I explore the LIES that plague me daily and struggle to face them down. You can watch the presentation here.

I am who God says I am. Over the next few months, I am going to explore what this means. Will you join me on the journey?

If you want to follow this series, look for the category “LIES” to more easily find the corresponding posts.

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Posted in Encouragement, God's Word, LIES, Moving Forward, People Pleasing, Transition

2020 First Journal Prompt

Posted on January 5, 2020 by | Leave a comment

And just like that, it is the year 2020.

Last week on New Year’s Eve I remembered back to that night in 1999. I was the computer department for a medium-sized doctor organization with multiple locations. I stayed up all night checking the servers and ready to run to the offices on a moment’s notice if the world were to come to an end when all the computers changed from 1999 to 2000.

Nothing happened, I didn’t have to run out into the night and I slept in the next day.

It is hard to believe that it was 20 years ago. So much has happened in my life in these 20 years.

Each year I set goals for myself. Some I followed through on; others I tossed aside.

Thinking back on this caused me to address this in a journal prompt.

Statistics show that only about 8% of the New Year Resolutions made are completed. Why? There is no commitment, no buy-in.

I want to encourage you this week to carefully consider:

What are your top goals for 2020?

Why is each one important to you?

What will accomplishing these goals give you?

Take some time this week to establish a goal. Make it a smart goal.: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-Based.

If you would like to talk about these goals one-on-one, send me a message.

Imagine it is now 2021 and you are discussing your accomplishments of the previous year. What will you be celebrating?

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Posted in Encouragement, Goal Setting, Journal Prompt, Life Coaching, Moving Forward

Decade-End Journal Prompt

Posted on December 31, 2019 by | 1 comment

As this year, this decade is coming to a close, I am reminded how far I have come and how I have grown over the past 10 years.

Some steps may be small, but they are steps ahead nonetheless.

I intentionally defied doctor recommendations and fought to quit taking opioid medications even before the big society push to do so. It took over a year, but I did it.

I completed studies at the Professional Christian Coach Institute and obtained my first level of certification, CPLC (Certified Professional Life Coach).

I hosted local workshops on Boundaries using material from Doctors Cloud and Townsend. I also hosted local workshops on Defeating the Lies of Negative Self-Talk with the materials I created.

Journal prompts were posted weekly. I am working on consistency in all areas of online posting.

Other changes were small.

Like making an effort to wear make-up. I don’t usually do more than a foundation so I am like a teenager playing with make-up colors and techniques.

Despite the physical pain, I strive to walk – even a short distance – weekly.

I am working toward a routine of personal time with God.

There is no major life-changing step, yet there is so much to celebrate. Yes, there were failures. I learned from each one and used it as a step toward success.

What are you celebrating as this decade comes to a close? Take a moment to review. Write out your successes, no matter how small. Every step forward is significant.

CELEBRATE IT!!

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Posted in Development, Encouragement, Goal Setting, Journal Prompt, Life Coaching, Moving Forward

My Word for 2020 is….

Posted on December 28, 2019 by | Leave a comment

Do you choose a “word of the year”?

I started doing this several years ago.  In 2018 my word was ‘unstoppable’.  It reminded me to keep moving toward my dreams, and that the only one to stop me from pursuing it would be me.  

For 2019 a short phrase was my focus “stay the course”.  I was reminded to keep moving forward on the course God has set me on (Psalm 119:1).  I do not yet know what is at the end of the path, but I know He is with me.

When I look at the year 2020, so many references to vision come to mind.  I argued with myself on the word ‘vision’ because I figure everyone will be using it.

Then I read Romans 12:3 “Be honest in your evaluation of yourself…”  Wow. I have been posting and teaching on stopping the lies of negative self-talk and replacing them with truth. God’s truth.

I am discouraged today, feeling down, telling myself so many lies. Writing this post reminds me I am doing exactly what I teach against.

The word “REFLECTION” came to mind.  I found a picture I use in some of my illustrations of a woman smiling at herself in the mirror.  I added the word REFLECTION at the top and wrote out Romans 12:3.

This is my word for 2020.  REFLECTION.  This year I am reminded to be honest in my evaluation of myself. I will reflect on who God says I am.

It is with this word I will conducting additional “Defeating the Lies of Negative Self-Talk” courses in-person and online.  It is with this word I will begin leading some “Boundaries” courses using material from Doctors Cloud and Townsend.  It is with this word I will be unstoppable, as I stay the course, and reflect honestly on God’s view of me.

I love how I can look back and see the progress God has made in me by reviewing past words.  Each one leads to the next step of my spiritual growth in Him.

What is your word for 2020? Where will it lead you? How can I help you?

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Posted in Development, Encouragement, Goal Setting, God's Word, Journal Prompt, Moving Forward, Transition, Women's Issues

Journal Prompt

Posted on December 23, 2019 by | Leave a comment

It is hard to believe Christmas 2019 is just a couple of days away.

Today I wrap the last of the gifts purchased and prepare for various family gatherings.

Time and life has shown me the time together is much more important than any physical gift.

This peace I get as we gather is a precious gift itself. It brings such joy., no matter what else is happening around me.

This week’s journal prompt asks you to think about when you feel joy.

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Posted in Encouragement, Journal Prompt

Journal Prompt – week 51

Posted on December 15, 2019 by | Leave a comment

I cannot believe it is the middle of December. Today we are experiencing a winter storm here in the Midwest. It truly is beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

As I have been speaking with different people over the past few weeks about the Christmas season.

It made me consider this week’s journal prompt.

What does Christmas mean to me? I have conflicting emotions right now as several close family and friends are going through difficult times. The joy that the season celebrates is not there for them. Today, Christmas means something different for them.

Thus the journal prompt “What does Christmas mean to me?”

How will you answer the question?

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Posted in Encouragement, Journal Prompt, Moving Forward

Journal Prompt – Celebrate

Posted on December 11, 2019 by | Leave a comment

This week I will celebrate my achievements of 2019.

Look back over the year. In the midst of the obstacles, you will find stepping stones. Among the trials, you will find successes.

Even if you took 3 steps forward and 2 steps back, you are still one step ahead.

CELEBRATE! What successes, no matter how small, will you celebrate today?

One success for me is this journal prompts. Fifty weeks in a row! I am working on being consistent. Sometimes I had to be a few days late, but I continued. A small success, yet a success. I will celebrate. I will congratulate myself.

What successes will you celebrate?

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Posted in Encouragement, Goal Setting, Journal Prompt, Moving Forward