Confessions of a Recovering People Pleaser – an Introduction

My name is TerryAnn and I am a People Pleaser.

If there was an anonymous group for this, I would be a charter member. 

I have lived my whole life trying to do what others wanted me to. I would then be in turmoil when the desires of 2 more differed or it wasn’t something I wanted. I would have this internal battle over why these people had a control over me. What made them or their opinions and desires more important than mine?

One day I was listening to Aaron Wilburn tell the story of “Hiny The Mule”.  (see the presentation via YouTube here).  It was a funny look at what it is like to please everyone. YOU CANNOT DO IT!!!

HisApproval The struggle to please everyone took away the inner peace I desired.  Christ promised us in John 14:27 “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”  He promised HIS peace. I wanted that peace. So I started to look to Him instead of others.  It wasn’t and still isn’t easy to do. I struggle daily with it. But I realize it is a decision; a decision I must make numerous times a day. I feel burdened when I have done something I think might even slightly displease others. Then I started comparing that to the burden I feel when I don’t have peace about that. Though both burdens are heavy, the conflict and inner turmoil within myself was heavier.

That person I didn’t please (or thought I didn’t please) will have forgotten the situation long before I do.  I am hurting myself more. Sure, some people will reject me. Rejection is hard. Were they really someone whose opinion of me is important enough to live with the inner turmoil?

The hard realization is: it is MY decision.  No matter what others say, my actions are my own.  I am responsible for them, not everyone I hope to please. So I am intentionally adjusting my focus from people pleasing to God pleasing.

Are you on this same journey?  Will you join with me?  We can walk together on the path toward God’s Inner Peace.

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